Let Love Be Your Roots....Eph. 3:17: The Joys of Being Called

“So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun.” - Ecclesiastes 8:15

I’m home and, to be honest, my heart hurts a bit. As I sat in Starbucks in the Brussels airport during our layover, I sipped on my americano (which was delicious, thanks to Kaitlin!) and listened to the sound of multiple conversations in different languages and loud world music blaring over the speakers. I got an overwhelming feeling of homesickness for the comfort of my morning chai, listening to the nearby birds chirping and children laughing. It was a feeling of almost being stuck in the middle; aching for what I left behind but anxious for what was to come. I missed my family and friends in the states, but I nearly starting crying thinking about the family and friends I left behind. All is part of life I know, and people always say, “Don’t worry, you’ll be back.” Yah ...yah..yah. I get that. But the big question mark indicating when that will be hangs over my head. I don’t like not knowing. But that’s not how God works.

I love people, and knowing who they really are. When I meet someone, it is my goal to know more than just his or her favorite color or pastime. By the time I leave that conversation, I want to know their hearts, DEEP, DEEP down: their joys, pains, struggles, and victories. And that is why I love the Kenyan culture so much, because they desire to know the same. That’s how it was my with my R.O.C.K. kiddos this month. I entered a deeper level with many of them. I was shocked at how much they came to me and confided in me, wanted prayer, guidance, or just someone to listen to them about whatever. I could see that some seeds that were planted in 2010-2011 were growing fruit, and I was in awe of God’s faithfulness. These kids saw my heart, they knew why I came back, and they knew we were family. I took every opportunity to open my heart and share with them, whether one-on-one or leading devotion. I retold my personal testimony of loss, anger, healing and perseverance. I was overjoyed when I learned that their scripture memory for that month was Hebrews 12, which was a theme chapter for me during my last year there. I dug into those verses, and I think it made everything that much more real to them. God used it as He wanted, breaking down the cultural walls that often subconsciously develop and prevent the message from fully being crossed, and our hearts connected.

The morning of our 9 a.m. bus departure from Kisumu, Kaitlin and I woke up early so that we could get to R.O.C.K. for 6:30 a.m. devotion, breakfast, and goodbyes. On our walk over to the compound, I stared up at the purple and pink sunrise, pep talking myself not to start crying in front of the kids. Well, let’s just say it was one weak pep talk. As soon as we walked through the gate of the compound, the firs person I saw was James peeking out of the window of the kitchen, and say “Teacher!” I cracked…the tears started to come. I quickly composed myself so I could enter the sitting room where the devotions taking place. The melodies of some of my favorite worship songs filled my ears as I entered the room, and I just stood there watching them worship. There is nothing more beautiful than kids of all ages giving their hearts to the Lord. I closed my eyes and took it all in. I prayed that their words would be carried all over sleeping Kisumu, entering the hearts of all the people just waking to start their day.

After one of the house parents finished sharing for devotion, he gave Kaitlin and I opportunities to speak. When he called me, I slowly stood and moved towards the front of the room. I took a second and just looked at them all, some not wanting to make eye contact with me in fear of crying. I took a deep breather, slowly squeaked out “Praise the Lord,” and they quietly responded “Amen.” Then, my eyes met one of the kids, and I cracked. I apologized to them for crying, sharing that I would be lying to say that I wasn’t sad….obviously. It was hard, so hard, to stand up and share in front of them watching many of them, both big and small, feel the same pain I was feeling. But I am thankful, because the Lord gave me the specific words to share with them. I emphasized how proud of them I am, and encouraged them that even though we are physically apart, we are together in thought and prayer. After devotion, I received some of the biggest hugs I’ve every received from them, even the older boys. I LOVE hugs!! Priceless moments I will never forget. I was given my last-minute letters, pictures, and encouraging words from them as we slowly moved to the gate. As we walked out, the last memory I have was little Juliette sitting on the ground, smiling and waving goodbye as mom closed and locked the gate. Definitely challenging walking away, even if it is just for now.

On a lighter note, Kaitlin got to experience some of Kenya’s corky ways throughout our travels across Kenya. We took the usual bus company I had taken in the past to Kijabe to see Fred and the family, and the Davis family. However, to my surprise, Easy Coach had changed its route the past year, so we were in fact bypassing Kijabe. I was thankful that I know the country well enough, that I could map out where we were and what we needed to do. So, after some confusing conversations with the bus driver who spoke poor English, we got dropped off on the side of the road with all of our stuff, and Fred and to come and save us and bring us to Kijabe. Two white girls standing on the side of a busy highway with a bunch of luggage….probably a pretty funny sight.

Kijabe is my respite place, and we enjoyed a couple days of great company, good food, and relaxation. It was much needed to help me process the last month, and also just take in the beauty of the country. I always love taking my visitors here to get a real taste of Kenya, as we stay with Fred and his family in their rural home. They are always so welcoming and give us the very best that they have. CJ, Njeri, and Precious have all grown so much, and their English has really improved. Time there always goes so quickly, but we enjoyed it for sure.

My taxi driver friend John came to pick us from Kijabe to take us to the airport. Luckily he is a punctual guy and even came a bit early, because on the way to the airport we were forced by police to pull over for almost 45 minutes because they were closing down the road. Apparently the president was traveling by car and we were supposed to wait until he passed by. I have never in my life seen a road closed for miles upon miles. Upset Kenyans stood by the side of the road, taunted the police officers, and laughed at the ridiculousness of the whole thing. After he finally passed, then a huge jam resulted and we had to take a back bypass to the airport. We still arrived with plenty of time before our flight was scheduled to leave.

After almost 39 hours of travel, we landed in Omaha. As our plane pulled up, I looked out the window and saw the moon shining high in the sky. I smiled to myself as I remembered gazing at the almost full moon the night we landed in Nairobi. I took in the same moon though I was almost half a world apart, though my emotions at both places were much different. I think God allowed me to see that to give me a bit of peace in my heart….”You are apart, yet you are together.” Just as my friends in Kenya see the same moon, distance will not divide our thoughts and prayers.

The youth pastor from the church R.O.C.K. attends was talking to me a few days before I left. He mentioned how admirable it is that I’m making a sacrifice to be in Kenya serving the kids there. I replied, “Being here is never a sacrifice, it’s a purpose that God has placed on my life where I get the opportunity to love on some amazing people, and be just as blessed in return.” And it’s true. God has called me to love on others, never to walk in fear or doubt, and trust his provision. So far He has done a pretty stinkin’ good job, I must say.

So, what now? I'm pretty excited for what's to come. I'll continue to strongly advocate and be as involved with R.O.C.K. Ministries and its movement as I can. In here Omaha, God has lined up a SWEET special education teaching position for me this fall, and along with that I'll work on finishing up graduate school. My older brother and a few good friends are getting married, I have a precious nephew born in May that is just a few miles away, and I hope to spend a lot of time hanging out and drinking coffee with good friends. So many good things ahead, and I'm so thankful for each of them.

Kwaheri hakuna, tutuonana tu bas. There is no goodbye, just see you later.

Until next time, Kenya.